Got a toothbrush?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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