I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
