READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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