im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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