don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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