bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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