So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
