flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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