Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
