Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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