so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
