this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Couch. On fire.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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