My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
