Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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