I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
