I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
