Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
