I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
