they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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