I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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