Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
