using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
