Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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