Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
