i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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