new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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