ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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