tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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