Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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