first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
