You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
