i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
