ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
