I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
