I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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