I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
