If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
