I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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