Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
