Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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