Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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