Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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