Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
