So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
