therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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