I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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