covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it glows. i had to have it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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