where am i from again
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
