Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Its about making memories worth repressing
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
