I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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